Emotional blackmail
A pattern in which someone uses guilt, fear or obligation to get you to do what they want.
How it shows up in daily life
»If you loved me, you would …«, silence as punishment, an illness that appears every time you speak up. It is rarely deliberate — often it is the only way of influencing others that someone ever had available. That doesn’t make it any less burdensome.
What we do with it in therapy
We practise recognising the feeling it triggers (sudden, heavy guilt with no clear cause) and a reply that neither attacks nor gives way. The key part is bearing the discomfort that follows the first time you don’t give way.
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See also
Homework in therapy
Agreed things you do between sessions — often where most of it happens.
Spirituality in therapy
Room for questions of meaning, faith and the transcendent — when they matter to a person.
Adrenaline
The hormone of the fast response, which readies the body for fight or flight within seconds.
