A knowledge base on therapy, emotions and relationships

Acceptance Term Acknowledging what is — not agreeing with it, and not giving up on change.

Acceptance and commitment therapy Term An approach that, instead of fighting unpleasant thoughts, practises acting on your values despite them.

Addiction Term A pattern in which a substance or behaviour continues despite the harm it causes.

Adolescence Term The period in which a child tests out who they are — often by moving away from you.

Adoption Term Creating a family by another route, which brings its own questions about origins and belonging.

Adrenaline Term The hormone of the fast response, which readies the body for fight or flight within seconds.

Agoraphobia Term Fear of situations from which escape would be difficult or where help would not be available.

Alcohol and sleep Term Alcohol speeds falling asleep and fragments the sleep itself — so you fall asleep sooner and sleep worse.

Ambivalence Term Holding contradictory feelings towards the same person or decision at the same time.

The amygdala Term The part of the brain that quickly assesses danger and triggers a response before thinking kicks in.

Anger Term The emotion that says a boundary has been crossed or a need threatened — energy, not a fault.

Anger diary Tool 5 minut na dogodek PDF A record of outbursts and quiet irritability that, after two weeks, shows what really drives the anger.

Anhedonia Term Losing the capacity to feel pleasure in things that used to bring it.

Anxiety Term A response to a danger that isn't here — the body prepares for something that hasn't happened and often won't.

Anxious attachment Term A pattern in which uncertainty in a relationship intensifies the need for closeness and reassurance.

Apology Term An unconditional acknowledgement of harm — not an explanation, not a defence, no »but«.

Assertiveness Term A way of expressing yourself that takes account of your needs and the other person's dignity at once.

Attachment Term The pattern by which we move closer and pull away in relationships — learned in childhood, repeated in adulthood.

Authenticity Term Alignment between what you feel and what you show.

The autonomic nervous system Term The part of the nervous system that regulates heart, breath and digestion without your will — and your level of readiness for danger.

Avoidance Term Retreating from what triggers distress — the fastest relief and the most reliable way of making sure the distress stays.

Avoidant attachment Term A pattern in which closeness or tension automatically triggers withdrawal.

Becoming independent Term The process in which a young adult becomes autonomous without having to cut contact.

Belonging Term The sense that you fit somewhere as you are — one of the basic human needs.

Body image Term Your picture of your own body, which often depends more on your mood than on the body itself.

Body scan Exercise 10 minut A slow pass through the body from feet to head, bringing attention back from thought to sensation.

Boredom Term An unpleasant state of unoccupied attention — and often the doorway to what you're avoiding.

Boundaries Term The line that says what is acceptable to you — and what you will do if it isn't respected.

Boundaries within a family Term The invisible lines that determine who belongs where in a family and who decides what.

Boundary diary Tool 2 minuti na dan PDF A record of situations where you gave way, and of what led you to.

A boundary letter Tool 20 minut PDF A written, considered way of setting a boundary when a conversation in person isn't possible or safe.

Box breathing Exercise 4 minute Four equal phases — in, hold, out, hold — that steady the rhythm.

Breathing with a longer out-breath Exercise 5 minut An out-breath longer than the in-breath tells the body the danger is passing.

Bullying Term Repeated, deliberate hurting in which power is unevenly distributed.

Burnout Term A state of exhaustion, cynicism and a sense of ineffectiveness, arising from prolonged strain without recovery.

Burnout self-check Tool 10 minut PDF A few questions that help separate tiredness from burnout — not a diagnosis, but a starting point.

Caffeine Term A substance that blocks the tiredness signal — it doesn't add energy, it only masks its absence.

Caring for an ageing parent Term The period when the roles reverse and the child becomes the one who cares.

Catastrophising Term A thought pattern that turns uncertainty straight into the worst possible outcome.

A child's anger Term A normal part of development that needs a boundary for the behaviour and acceptance for the feeling.

Chronic stress Term A state of permanent readiness in which the body never quite switches the alarm off.

Circadian rhythm Term The internal clock that regulates sleep, wakefulness, temperature and hormones across roughly twenty-four hours.

Circle of control Tool 15 minutes PDF Three circles that separate what you influence, what you partly influence, and what you don't at all.

Co-parenting Term Parents working together on raising their children after a separation — a relationship that remains, although the partnership has ended.

Co-parenting agreement Tool 45 minut PDF A written agreement about the children's daily life after a separation — so the same things aren't negotiated again every week.

Co-regulation Term Settling through another person — the nervous system regulates in contact, not alone.

Code of ethics Term The set of rules binding on a therapist — from confidentiality to the prohibition on exploiting the relationship.

Codependency Term A relationship in which your own worth is measured by how much you care for someone else.

Cognitive behavioural therapy Term An approach working with the link between thoughts, feelings and behaviour, usually structured and time-limited.

Cognitive dissonance Term The discomfort of holding two beliefs or actions that don't add up.

Cold water on the face Exercise 1 minuta Brief contact between your face and cold water, which slows the heart rate quickly.

Complex trauma Term The trace of repeated, long-lasting injuries — most often within relationships and in childhood.

Compromise Term An agreement in which both give something up — and both get something.

Confidentiality Term The commitment that everything you say stays between us — with rare, known-in-advance exceptions.

Conflict Term A collision of two needs — in itself not a sign of a bad relationship, but a sign of two people.

Consequences instead of punishment Term A response that is connected to the act and known in advance — not an expression of an adult's anger.

Consistency Term Predictability of responses, which tells a child what they can expect.

A conversation with the symptom Exercise 15 minutes You address the symptom as if it had a purpose — and ask what it is protecting you from.

A conversation without interruption Exercise 20 minut Each of you speaks for three minutes while the other listens and doesn't reply — then you swap.

Core beliefs Term Deep, rarely spoken rules about yourself, others and the world, which colour all experience.

Cortisol Term The hormone that keeps the body on standby over the long term — useful in a burst, burdensome as a constant flow.

Counting back by seven Exercise 3 minute You count back from 100 in sevens — an exercise that occupies working memory and breaks the loop of thoughts.

Courage Term Acting despite fear — not the absence of fear.

Creativity Term The capacity to make something that wasn't there before — including when it isn't art.

Crisis Term The moment when your existing ways no longer suffice — danger and opportunity at once.

Crisis plan Tool 20 minut PDF A written list of warning signs, measures and contacts, prepared in advance — for when there is no strength left to think.

Daily rhythm template Tool 20 minut PDF A frame for the day with three fixed points that holds even in a bad period.

Decision fatigue Term A decline in the quality of decisions after a long run of choices.

Decision matrix Tool 20 minut PDF A simple table that turns going round in circles into a visible comparison — including the cost of not deciding.

Decision paralysis Term Getting stuck before a choice, arising not from lack of information but from fear of deciding wrongly.

Defence mechanisms Term Unconscious ways in which the mind reduces distress that would otherwise be unbearable.

Denial Term The way the mind rejects a fact it can't take in right now.

Depression Term Persistently low mood and loss of interest, lasting weeks and changing how you function, sleep and feel.

Diagnosis in psychotherapy Term A description of a difficulty that guides the work — not a label that says who you are.

Dialectical behaviour therapy Term An approach developed for strong emotional swings, teaching concrete skills for surviving moments of crisis.

Diary of bodily signs Tool 3 minute na dan PDF A record of physical symptoms and the circumstances around them — for when examinations find nothing.

Differences in sexual desire Term A mismatch between partners in the frequency or form of intimacy — one of the most common themes with couples.

Differentiation Term The ability to stay yourself while being close to someone — and to stay close even when you disagree.

Digital break plan Tool 15 minutes PDF An agreement with yourself about when the phone is away — held up by external supports, not willpower.

Disappointment Term A collision between expectation and reality — unavoidable in relationships and not necessarily a sign of a mistake.

Dissociation Term Disconnection from experience — the sense that you aren't quite here, that you're watching yourself from outside, or that the world is behind glass.

Distress scale Tool 5 minut PDF A rating of your state from 0 to 10, with a description of what each level means for you specifically.

Dopamine Term A substance tied more to the anticipation of reward than to pleasure itself.

Dropping out of therapy Term A sudden ending without agreement — often exactly when something difficult is approaching.

Dual relationship Term A situation in which therapist and client are also connected in some other way — through business, friendship or family.

Eating disorders Term Difficulties in which food and the body become the main way of regulating emotion and control.

Ecomap Tool 20 minut PDF A drawing of your surroundings — people, institutions and activities — and of what each gives you and takes.

EMDR Term A method for processing traumatic memories using bilateral stimulation, most often eye movements.

Emotion regulation Term The ability to recognise a feeling, bear it and give it shape — without being swept away and without having to switch it off.

Emotional blackmail Term A pattern in which someone uses guilt, fear or obligation to get you to do what they want.

Emotional literacy Term The ability to recognise, name and express feelings — your own and other people's.

Empathy Term The ability to understand another person's experience without merging with it.

The empty chair Exercise 20 minut You address someone who isn't in the room as if they were sitting opposite — and answer from their seat too.

Empty nest Term The period after the children leave, when what remains between the partners becomes visible.

Ending therapy Term A planned end to the work, which is part of the process rather than its absence.

Envy Term An uncomfortable feeling about what someone else has — and often a precise indicator of what you want yourself.

Executive functions Term The group of capacities that make planning, starting, switching and inhibiting possible.

Expectations table Tool 30 minut PDF Each partner writes down their expectations about roles, money and time — then you compare them.

Exposure ladder Tool 20 minut PDF A graded list of situations you avoid — from the easiest to the hardest.

The family as a system Term A view in which one member's symptom says something about the balance of the whole, not only about them.

Family calendar Tool 20 minut PDF A shared overview of the week, visible to everyone — it removes most arguments about who knew what.

The family life cycle Term The sequence of transitions — birth, school, adolescence, leaving home, ageing — each of which asks the family to rearrange itself.

Family myth Term The story a family tells about itself, which determines what is allowed to be seen.

Family screen agreement Tool 30 minut PDF Rules about screens that the family sets together and that apply to the adults too.

Fear Term A response to perceived danger which — unlike anxiety — is directed at something concrete.

Feelings traffic light Tool 10 minut PDF A simple aid for children: green, amber, red — and what we do at each colour.

The feelings wheel Tool 5 minut PDF A list of feelings in three rings — from four basic ones to precise shades, so you find the right word.

Five minutes with no purpose Exercise 5 minut You sit and do nothing for five minutes — no phone, no music, no goal.

Forgiveness Term The decision to stop demanding payment for the past — but not that the act was acceptable.

The four horsemen Term Four ways of communicating which, in Gottman's research, most strongly predict a relationship breaking down: criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling.

Friendship in adulthood Term A relationship that in adulthood requires intention, because circumstances no longer sustain it on their own.

Gaslighting Term A pattern in which someone systematically undermines your confidence in your own judgement, memory and experience.

Generalised anxiety Term Worry that moves from topic to topic and rarely stops, even when there is no occasion for it.

Genogram Term A family tree that maps not only kinship but relationships, patterns and events across three generations.

Genogram template Tool 15 minutes PDF The symbols and steps for drawing your own family tree — the groundwork for a session.

Gestalt therapy Term An approach focused on what is happening now — in the body, in the room, between us.

Gratitude Term The ability to notice what is there, rather than only what is missing.

Grieving Term The process of adjusting to a loss — not only a death, but any loss that changes who you are.

Grounding 5–4–3–2–1 Exercise 3 minute An exercise for moments of overwhelm: through the five senses you return from your thoughts to the room you're in.

Group therapy Term Therapy in a group, where the other participants are part of what heals, not merely an audience.

Guilt Term The feeling that you did something wrong — useful when it points you towards repair, harmful when it becomes a permanent state.

The gut–brain axis Term The two-way connection between the digestive system and the brain, along which stress affects digestion and digestion affects how you feel.

Habit Term Behaviour that has become automatic through use and no longer requires a decision.

A hand on the chest Exercise 2 minuti You place a palm on your chest or belly and stay for a few minutes with the warmth and the breath.

Health anxiety Term Persistent worry about your health, which examinations and results don't settle for long.

Heart rate variability Term The variation in the intervals between heartbeats — an indicator of the nervous system's flexibility.

High sensitivity Term A characteristic in which a person processes stimuli from their surroundings more strongly and more deeply.

Holiday plan Tool 30 minut PDF An agreement about holidays after a separation, made in advance — a period that reliably sharpens conflict.

Homework in therapy Term Agreed things you do between sessions — often where most of it happens.

Hope Term Not the belief that things will be good, but the perception that a path exists and that you are able to walk it.

Hypervigilance Term Constant excessive attention to danger, even when the surroundings are safe.

I notice that I'm thinking … Exercise 5 minut A sentence that moves a thought one step away, so you stop experiencing it as a fact.

Idealisation Term An exaggerated, one-sided view of someone as perfect — often the prelude to an equally one-sided disappointment.

Identity Term The sense of who you are — made of roles, values and the story you tell about yourself.

Impermanence Term The awareness that time is limited — a source of anxiety and, at once, one of the strongest sorters of priorities.

Impostor syndrome Term The feeling that you haven't earned your place and that sooner or later others will discover you aren't that capable.

Infertility and distress Term Long waiting, procedures and losses that weigh on the individual and on the couple.

Infidelity Term A breach of the agreement about exclusivity, which destroys the foundation of predictability in a relationship.

Informed consent Term Your agreement to work together, given once you know what you are agreeing to.

The inner critic Term The voice in you that comments, evaluates and condemns — often in the words of someone from your past.

Insight Term The moment you understand something about yourself anew — the beginning of change, not the change itself.

Insomnia Term Persistent difficulty falling asleep, staying asleep or with the quality of sleep, which affects the day.

Interoception Term Sensing internal bodily signals — heartbeat, hunger, tension, breathing.

Intrusive thoughts Term Sudden, unwanted thoughts that often stand in complete contradiction to the values of the person having them.

Jealousy Term Fear of losing a relationship, which shows up as control, checking or withdrawal.

Learned helplessness Term The belief that you can't affect the outcome — formed through repeated experiences in which you genuinely couldn't.

Leaves on a stream Exercise 8 minut You picture thoughts as leaves floating past — practising watching thoughts instead of living inside them.

A letter to your younger self Exercise 20 minut You write a letter to yourself at the age when things were hardest.

The letter you don't send Exercise 20 minut You write everything you would say to someone, uncensored — and you don't send the letter.

Life timeline Tool 30 minut PDF A drawn line with the events that shaped you — an overview that telling the story doesn't give.

List of your resources Tool 15 minutes PDF A written list of what has helped you before — for moments when you can't remember anything.

Loneliness Term A sense of disconnection that doesn't depend on how many people are around you.

Love languages Term The idea that we express and recognise closeness in different ways — through words, time, acts, gifts or touch.

Manipulation Term Influence in which the other person doesn't know what they are agreeing to.

Map of your energy through the day Tool 10 minut PDF Recording energy by the hour, showing when you're capable of what — and when you aren't.

Map of your support network Tool 20 minut PDF A drawn overview of the people around you and what each is really available for.

Map of your triggers Tool 20 minut PDF An inventory of the situations that throw you, together with early signs and what helps.

Meaning Term The sense that what you do leads somewhere or means something to someone.

The mental load Term The invisible work of planning, remembering and coordinating, which in a household often falls on one person.

Mentalising Term The ability to understand your own and others' behaviour as an expression of inner states, not as fact.

Midlife crisis Term The period in which you ask whether the life you have built is really yours.

Mindful breathing Exercise 3 minute Three minutes of attention on the breath, without changing how you breathe.

Mindfulness Term Deliberate attention to what is here now, without judging it.

The mirror Exercise 5 minut A few minutes in front of a mirror, practising looking without judging.

Monthly review Tool 30 minut na mesec PDF A short meeting with yourself, looking a month back and one step forward.

Mood diary Tool 2 minuti na dan PDF A short daily record of mood that, after two weeks, shows a pattern you can't see from the inside.

Motivation Term A state of readiness to act, which often comes after the action rather than before it.

Movement and mood Term Regular physical activity has an effect on mild and moderate depression comparable to other forms of help.

Name the feeling Exercise 3 minute A short exercise in which you give a feeling a name, a place in the body and an addressee.

Need Term What you are actually looking for beneath a complaint, anger or withdrawal.

Needs table Tool 20 minut PDF A list of your needs and who you expect to meet them — it often reveals too much weight on one person.

Neurodivergence Term A term for brains that work differently — not a defect, but another way of processing the world.

Neuroplasticity Term The brain's capacity to change through experience — the reason therapy can work at all.

Nightmares Term Dreams with intense fear that wake you and stay vivid after waking.

Numbness Term A state in which you feel almost nothing — neither bad nor good.

Obsessive-compulsive disorder Term Intrusive thoughts that trigger anxiety, and actions with which you try to lower it.

Oxytocin Term The hormone that accompanies closeness, touch and trust — often called the attachment hormone.

Pain and emotion Term Experiencing pain isn't only detecting damage — attention, mood and the meaning you give it all shape it.

Panic attack Term A sudden wave of bodily distress that peaks within minutes and passes — although during it, it seems it won't.

Panic card Tool 10 minut PDF A card for your wallet with a few sentences you couldn't put together during an attack.

Parental burnout Term Exhaustion, emotional disconnection from your child and the feeling that you're not a good parent — a state the field recognised relatively recently.

Parentification Term A reversal of roles in which a child takes on care that should have been a parent's.

Parenting styles Term Ways of parenting that differ in how much warmth and how much demand they contain.

Pattern Term A sequence that repeats: cue, response, outcome — and then from the beginning again.

Peer consultation Term Consultation between colleagues of equal standing about demanding cases — a complement to supervision.

People-pleasing Term A pattern in which you systematically put someone else's need before your own to keep the peace.

Perfectionism Term A standard that is never met — not because you aren't precise enough, but because the line moves with you.

Personal values list Tool 30 minut PDF A selection of five values that become your measure when deciding, instead of guesswork.

Phases of therapy Term The sequence the process usually follows: establishing safety, working through, integrating and ending.

Phobia Term A strong, persistent fear of a particular thing or situation, out of proportion to the actual danger.

Plan for the first weeks after a separation Tool 30 minut PDF A simple plan for the period when there is no strength for deciding — what happens when, who is where, what can wait.

Play Term A child's main language, and one of the most reliable indicators of how they are.

Polyvagal theory Term A model describing three states of the nervous system: safe connection, mobilisation and freeze.

Post-traumatic growth Term A change for the better that appears in some people after a severe experience — neither inevitable nor expected.

Post-traumatic stress disorder Term Persistent responses after a traumatic event: re-experiencing, avoidance, hyperarousal and altered mood.

Postnatal distress Term A range from mild low mood after birth to postnatal depression and anxiety, which need treatment.

Prediction diary Tool 5 minut na dogodek PDF You write down what you think will happen and, later, what actually did — a table that confronts anxiety with the outcome.

Pregnancy loss Term A loss that often goes unnoticed by those around you, and is therefore lonelier still.

Preparing for a first session Tool 20 minut PDF A few questions to think through before your first visit — so you don't run out of words in the room.

Preparing for a psychiatric appointment Tool 20 minut PDF Notes you take with you, so nothing essential is forgotten in a short appointment.

Procrastination Term Turning away from a task, arising not from laziness but from the unpleasant feeling the task triggers.

Progressive muscle relaxation Exercise 12 minut Tensing and releasing muscle groups in turn, showing the body the difference between tension and calm.

Projection Term Attributing your own feelings or traits to someone else.

Psychodynamic therapy Term An approach that looks for the origin of present difficulties in early relationships and in what remained unconscious.

Psychoeducation Term An explanation of how a difficulty works — part of therapy, not an introduction to it.

Psychosomatics Term Physical symptoms in which mental state plays a significant part — real, not imagined.

Psychotherapy Term The deliberate treatment of psychological difficulties by psychological means, within an ordered and confidential relationship.

Questions before a big decision Tool 30 minut PDF Seven questions to think through before deciding on something that changes your life.

Questions for a couple's conversation Tool 30 minut PDF A set of questions that shifts the conversation from logistics to the relationship.

Questions for choosing a therapist Tool 10 minut PDF What to ask at first contact, so you don't decide on a photograph and a price alone.

Questions for your doctor Tool 10 minut PDF A short list to take to an appointment, so you leave with answers rather than new doubts.

Rationalisation Term A reasonable-sounding explanation for something you did for entirely different reasons.

Reconciliation Term Restoring a relationship after a rupture — unlike forgiveness, it always requires both people.

Regression Term A temporary return to an earlier developmental stage during a period of distress or change.

Regret Term The pain of what you did or missed — and one of the most stubborn brakes on deciding.

Relational family therapy Term A Slovenian model connecting the systemic view with bodily experience and with the affect transmitted between family members.

REM sleep Term The stage of sleep with vivid dreams, in which the day's emotional impressions are processed.

Repression Term Pushing unpleasant material out of awareness — it doesn't disappear, it only moves out of view.

Resentment Term Anger that was never spoken and so settled — quiet, long-lasting and sour.

Resilience Term The capacity to recover after strain — not a trait you have or lack, but something that is built.

Resistance Term Everything that steers you in therapy away from a topic that is too close — forgotten appointments, jokes, long detours.

Rest Term Not merely the absence of work — body and mind need several different kinds of break.

Rest plan Tool 20 minut PDF Rest broken down by type, so you get the kind you're actually short of.

Restlessness Term A bodily inability to stay still, which we often mistake for a need to work.

Return-to-work plan Tool 30 minut PDF A gradual plan for returning after a longer absence through illness or exhaustion.

Roles in the family Term The unwritten tasks individual members take on so that the system stays in balance.

Routine Term A repeating frame for the day that relieves decision-making and provides predictability.

Rules for arguing Tool 15 minutes PDF A few agreements a couple makes in calm times, which apply when things are not calm.

Rumination Term The repeated turning over of the same thoughts, which looks like problem-solving but never reaches a solution.

A safe place Exercise 10 minut In your mind you build a place where it is safe, and make it detailed enough to return to.

The sandwich generation Term The position of people caring at once for their children and for their parents.

Schema therapy Term An approach working with deep patterns formed in childhood, and with the ways we defend against them.

School anxiety Term School-related distress, which often shows up as a physical symptom in the mornings.

Screens and children Term A question that in families is often not about time but about who decides and what the screens are replacing.

Secure base Term A relationship from which you dare to go out and explore, because you know there is somewhere to return to.

Self-compassion Term The ability to treat yourself in distress as you would a friend — without sugar-coating and without judging.

Self-harm Term Deliberately hurting yourself as a way of managing an unbearable emotional state.

Self-image Term Your picture of who you are — as distinct from self-confidence, which is the belief that you can do something.

Sentences for setting boundaries Tool 10 minut PDF Sentence patterns that state a boundary without apologising and without attacking.

Separation anxiety Term Distress on being separated from someone close — developmentally expected in a child, a sign of insecure attachment in an adult.

Serotonin Term A substance involved in mood, sleep and digestion — but the »too little serotonin« explanation is far too simple.

Shaking the body Exercise 3 minute Deliberate shaking and loosening that burns off energy left stuck in the body after stress.

Shame Term The feeling that something is wrong with you — as distinct from guilt, which says something is wrong with what you did.

Signs of being overloaded Tool 15 minutes PDF Your own list of the signs by which you recognise you're going over the edge — before you do.

Silence in therapy Term A silence that isn't awkwardness but a space in which what fast conversation covers over can appear.

Sleep diary Tool 2 minuti na dan PDF A simple table that records, for two weeks, when you go to bed, when you fall asleep and how you slept.

Sleep hygiene Term The habits around sleep that either help it or quietly undermine it.

Social anxiety Term Fear of being judged by others, so strong that it begins to shrink your life.

Solitude Term Time without others which — unlike loneliness — is chosen and often needed.

Spirituality in therapy Term Room for questions of meaning, faith and the transcendent — when they matter to a person.

Stepfamily Term The family that forms when two partners with children from previous relationships come together.

Stress Term The body's response to a demand that exceeds its perceived resources — useful briefly, harmful over time.

Suicidal thoughts Term Thoughts that it would be easier if you weren't here — more common than is spoken about, and always worth a conversation.

Supervision Term A therapist's regular professional consultation with a more experienced colleague — without any details by which a client could be identified.

Systemic therapy Term An approach that understands a difficulty within a web of relationships rather than within the individual alone.

Telling a child about a separation Tool 30 minut PDF What you say, how, and what you don't — prepared in advance and agreed between the parents.

Temperament Term An innate style of responding — speed, sensitivity, adaptability — visible even in a baby.

Theory of mind Term The ability to imagine that another person has their own thoughts, intentions and feelings, different from yours.

The therapeutic frame Term The agreed rules of sessions — time, length, frequency, fee, cancellations, confidentiality.

Therapeutic goal Term A jointly agreed shift by which we both know whether anything is happening.

The therapeutic relationship Term The relationship between you and your therapist, which isn't the frame for the work but the working tool itself.

Three good things Exercise 5 minut Each evening you write down three things that went well, and why.

Three questions in the evening Exercise 5 minut Three written answers before sleep that give the day an ending instead of rumination.

Time-out card Tool 10 minut PDF An agreed signal and rules for a pause, settled by the couple before they need them.

Transference and countertransference Term Transference is when you unconsciously carry feelings from earlier relationships onto the therapist; countertransference is the therapist's response to them.

Transgenerational transmission Term The passing of patterns, rules and unprocessed distress from generation to generation, mostly without words.

Transition Term The period between what was and what isn't yet — the most vulnerable part of any change.

Trauma Term Not the event itself but the trace it leaves — when an experience exceeds the capacity to process it and stays in the body as the present.

Triangulation Term Bringing in a third person to relieve tension between two — most often a child.

Trigger Term A cue that instantly calls up an old emotional state, although the present situation doesn't call for it.

Trust Term The willingness to be vulnerable without checking all the time.

Tuning your breathing Exercise 5 minut Partners sit beside each other and breathe together — without talking.

Two columns for the inner critic Exercise 10 minut Write down the critic's sentence and, beside it, what you would say to a friend — the gap is the exercise.

Vagal tone Term A measure of how much influence the settling branch of the nervous system has on your body.

Violence in a relationship Term A pattern of behaviour by which one person establishes power and control over another — physically, psychologically, sexually or economically.

Vulnerability Term The willingness to show something that could cost you — and, for exactly that reason, the condition for closeness.

Walking with attention Exercise 10 minut Walking with your attention in your feet instead of in your head.

Warning signs in a relationship Tool 15 minutes PDF A list of behaviours that are not a matter of taste but a reason for caution.

Weekly energy review Tool 10 minut na teden PDF A short review of where the week took your strength and where it gave it back — a basis for real change rather than good intentions.

What was crossed Exercise 10 minut Behind anger, find the boundary or need that was overlooked — and with it, its message.

What's mine, what's theirs Exercise 10 minut A boundary exercise: a dividing line between what is your responsibility and what isn't.

Wheel of life Tool 20 minut PDF Eight areas you rate from 0 to 10 — an overview of where life has tilted.

Window of tolerance Term The range of arousal in which you can feel and think at the same time; above it you're overwhelmed, below it numb.

Worry postponement Exercise 15 minut na dan You give worries their own slot in the day, so they stop turning up at every opportunity — especially at night.

The worst case, all the way through Exercise 10 minut Instead of stopping at »what if«, you follow the thought to the end and look at what you would actually do.

A knowledge base on therapy, emotions and relationships

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