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The family as a system

A view in which one member's symptom says something about the balance of the whole, not only about them.

Term

How it shows up in daily life

A child starts having difficulties exactly when things are most tense between the parents. When one member falls ill or leaves, everyone else’s roles shift. A family isn’t the sum of individuals but a web in which every movement echoes somewhere else.

What we do with it in therapy

That is why, working with a family, we don’t look for someone to blame. We look for the pattern: what happens after the thing happens, and what the arrangement allows each person. Changing one link changes the whole.

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Does some of this sound familiar?

An explanation is one thing, the experience another. If you'd like to talk it through with someone, write to me.

This is what insomnia taught me. What has it taught you? Traumatic experiences can leave you weakened — on recovery and strength. On the worries that drain our energy. On why differentiation matters in relationships. Self-confidence starts with self-awareness. On how hard it is to start — and harder still to keep going.