Consistency
Predictability of responses, which tells a child what they can expect.
How it shows up
It isn’t strictness. It is that the same rule applies on Monday and on Friday, when you’re rested and when you’re not. Children don’t test boundaries because they’re naughty, but because they’re checking whether the boundaries hold.
What we do with it in therapy
We set fewer rules and make sure the ones that remain really apply. Three consistent agreements are worth more than ten occasional ones.
See also
Schema therapy
An approach working with deep patterns formed in childhood, and with the ways we defend against them.
The amygdala
The part of the brain that quickly assesses danger and triggers a response before thinking kicks in.
Avoidant attachment
A pattern in which closeness or tension automatically triggers withdrawal.
