Compromise
An agreement in which both give something up — and both get something.
How it shows up
A false compromise is when one person always gives way and calls it peace. A real compromise has a cost and a benefit on both sides; if the cost is always the same person’s, it is something else.
What we do with it in therapy
With couples we check the bookkeeping: who gives up how much and who decides what. It often turns out the difference isn’t in love but in power.
See also
Complex trauma
The trace of repeated, long-lasting injuries — most often within relationships and in childhood.
Phobia
A strong, persistent fear of a particular thing or situation, out of proportion to the actual danger.
Panic attack
A sudden wave of bodily distress that peaks within minutes and passes — although during it, it seems it won't.
