The mirror
A few minutes in front of a mirror, practising looking without judging.
The mirror exercise is simple and, for many people, the most uncomfortable in this collection. You stand in front of a mirror for five minutes and describe your face — only describe it. Eye colour, the shape of the eyebrows, the line at the corner of the mouth, strands of hair going their own way. All judgements are banned, compliments included; »nice eyes« is as much a judgement as »ugly nose«. When criticism appears, you notice it and return to describing. If five minutes is too much, start with one and build up.
When to use it
With strong self-criticism and with difficulties around body image. For many people the exercise is surprisingly uncomfortable — that is part of the point.
How it goes
- Stand in front of the mirror and for one minute just look, without commentary.
- Notice which sentence arrives first. Write it down afterwards.
- Then find three things you can describe neutrally: brown eyes, not pretty or ugly.
- Finish with one sentence you would say to a friend.
Why it works
The aim isn’t liking, it is neutrality. The road from judging to accepting usually runs through describing.
