Time-out card
An agreed signal and rules for a pause, settled by the couple before they need them.
What it’s for
In the middle of an argument a pause can’t be introduced, because the other person reads it as withdrawal. A signal agreed in advance prevents that.
What it contains
- The signal: a word or gesture that isn’t insulting.
- Duration: at least twenty minutes — that is how long the body needs to settle.
- A promise to return: an exact time. Without it, the pause is a withdrawal.
- What you do meanwhile: not preparing arguments, but settling.
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See also
Questions for choosing a therapist
What to ask at first contact, so you don't decide on a photograph and a price alone.
Plan for the first weeks after a separation
A simple plan for the period when there is no strength for deciding — what happens when, who is where, what can wait.
Life timeline
A drawn line with the events that shaped you — an overview that telling the story doesn't give.
