Manipulation
Influence in which the other person doesn't know what they are agreeing to.
How it shows up
A request that can’t be refused without guilt. Information presented so that it leads to one conclusion. Manipulation isn’t always deliberate — often it is the only way of influencing others that someone ever had.
What we do with it in therapy
The measure isn’t the intention but the outcome: if after a conversation you regularly doubt yourself and don’t know how you agreed, that is information. We work on recognising the feeling and on a reply that neither attacks nor gives way.
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See also
People-pleasing
A pattern in which you systematically put someone else's need before your own to keep the peace.
Transition
The period between what was and what isn't yet — the most vulnerable part of any change.
Pain and emotion
Experiencing pain isn't only detecting damage — attention, mood and the meaning you give it all shape it.
