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Veronika Železnik Psychotherapy
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Need

What you are actually looking for beneath a complaint, anger or withdrawal.

Term

How it shows up

»You never tidy up« is rarely about tidying. Beneath the accusation is a need — for help, to be seen, for the sense that you aren’t alone. The accusation hides it, because asking is more exposing than accusing.

What we do with it in therapy

We practise the translation: from accusation to request, from criticism to need. It is one of the most directly useful tools in work with couples.

Read more

Preberi več na blogu

From blame to needs: how a couple learns a new language 13 min branja

See also

Compromise An agreement in which both give something up — and both get something. Addiction A pattern in which a substance or behaviour continues despite the harm it causes. Anxious attachment A pattern in which uncertainty in a relationship intensifies the need for closeness and reassurance.

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Contact

Does some of this sound familiar?

An explanation is one thing, the experience another. If you'd like to talk it through with someone, write to me.

Write to me How therapy works
This is what insomnia taught me. What has it taught you? Traumatic experiences can leave you weakened — on recovery and strength. On the worries that drain our energy. On why differentiation matters in relationships. Self-confidence starts with self-awareness. On how hard it is to start — and harder still to keep going.