Shame
The feeling that something is wrong with you — as distinct from guilt, which says something is wrong with what you did.
How it shows up in daily life
Shame pushes you into hiding. You don’t speak up, don’t ask for help, don’t admit a mistake — not because it would be dangerous, but because then they would see you as you think you are. That is exactly why shame is so tenacious: the very behaviour it triggers prevents the experience that would disprove it.
What we do with it in therapy
Shame doesn’t dissolve through being told you aren’t bad. It dissolves in the experience of saying the most shameful thing and the other person staying — without recoiling, without withdrawing. That is one reason therapy works within a relationship and not from a book.
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See also
Obsessive-compulsive disorder
Intrusive thoughts that trigger anxiety, and actions with which you try to lower it.
Anhedonia
Losing the capacity to feel pleasure in things that used to bring it.
Alcohol and sleep
Alcohol speeds falling asleep and fragments the sleep itself — so you fall asleep sooner and sleep worse.
