Apology
An unconditional acknowledgement of harm — not an explanation, not a defence, no »but«.
How it shows up
»I’m sorry if you felt hurt« isn’t an apology, it is a defence. An apology says what I did, that I understand the effect, and what I will do differently.
What we do with it in therapy
We practise it in three parts: the act, the effect, the change. Many people apologise often and still don’t settle things — because the third part is missing.
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See also
Systemic therapy
An approach that understands a difficulty within a web of relationships rather than within the individual alone.
Schema therapy
An approach working with deep patterns formed in childhood, and with the ways we defend against them.
Interoception
Sensing internal bodily signals — heartbeat, hunger, tension, breathing.
