Apology
An unconditional acknowledgement of harm — not an explanation, not a defence, no »but«.
How it shows up
»I’m sorry if you felt hurt« isn’t an apology, it is a defence. An apology says what I did, that I understand the effect, and what I will do differently.
What we do with it in therapy
We practise it in three parts: the act, the effect, the change. Many people apologise often and still don’t settle things — because the third part is missing.
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See also
Neuroplasticity
The brain's capacity to change through experience — the reason therapy can work at all.
Pattern
A sequence that repeats: cue, response, outcome — and then from the beginning again.
Rumination
The repeated turning over of the same thoughts, which looks like problem-solving but never reaches a solution.
