The mental load
The invisible work of planning, remembering and coordinating, which in a household often falls on one person.
How it shows up
It isn’t about who does the washing-up. It is about who knows it needs doing, when the insurance expires and what the child needs for school. The work is invisible, so it goes unrecognised.
What we do with it in therapy
We make it visible — literally, with an inventory. Only then can it be divided; without the inventory the conversation gets stuck on feelings.
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See also
Mentalising
The ability to understand your own and others' behaviour as an expression of inner states, not as fact.
Interoception
Sensing internal bodily signals — heartbeat, hunger, tension, breathing.
The autonomic nervous system
The part of the nervous system that regulates heart, breath and digestion without your will — and your level of readiness for danger.
