Theory of mind
The ability to imagine that another person has their own thoughts, intentions and feelings, different from yours.
How it shows up
We use it constantly in daily life: inferring what someone meant by a message. Under stress it narrows — and then we automatically interpret other people’s behaviour to our own disadvantage.
What we do with it in therapy
With couples this is a frequent source of arguments: both are convinced they know what the other meant. The work is simple and hard at once — asking instead of inferring.
See also
Relational family therapy
A Slovenian model connecting the systemic view with bodily experience and with the affect transmitted between family members.
The inner critic
The voice in you that comments, evaluates and condemns — often in the words of someone from your past.
Therapeutic goal
A jointly agreed shift by which we both know whether anything is happening.
