Preparing for a first session
A few questions to think through before your first visit — so you don't run out of words in the room.
When to use it
A day or two before the first session. It isn’t compulsory: you may also arrive entirely unprepared. But if you’re worried you won’t know where to start, it helps.
What to write down
- Why now? What has happened in recent weeks that made you decide to look for help at this point.
- What would have to change for you to say, six months from now, that it was worth it.
- What you’re afraid of about therapy. It is entirely legitimate to say this in the first session.
- What you’ve already tried and what helped at least a little.
- One question for me — about how it works, the cost, confidentiality, anything.
Why it works
The first session is short and the tension is high; without preparation we often spend a lot of it getting our bearings. The notes aren’t a script — they simply help make sure that what really matters doesn’t go unsaid.
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See also
Expectations table
Each partner writes down their expectations about roles, money and time — then you compare them.
Map of your energy through the day
Recording energy by the hour, showing when you're capable of what — and when you aren't.
Holiday plan
An agreement about holidays after a separation, made in advance — a period that reliably sharpens conflict.
