Avoidance
Retreating from what triggers distress — the fastest relief and the most reliable way of making sure the distress stays.
How it shows up
You don’t answer the message, you cancel the gathering, you put off the check-up. Each time it’s easier. And each time, the space you move in narrows a little.
What we do with it in therapy
We take avoidance apart gradually, in steps you set yourself. The aim isn’t heroism but evidence — the body has to experience that you got through it.
See also
Intrusive thoughts
Sudden, unwanted thoughts that often stand in complete contradiction to the values of the person having them.
Window of tolerance
The range of arousal in which you can feel and think at the same time; above it you're overwhelmed, below it numb.
Schema therapy
An approach working with deep patterns formed in childhood, and with the ways we defend against them.
