Avoidance
Retreating from what triggers distress — the fastest relief and the most reliable way of making sure the distress stays.
How it shows up
You don’t answer the message, you cancel the gathering, you put off the check-up. Each time it’s easier. And each time, the space you move in narrows a little.
What we do with it in therapy
We take avoidance apart gradually, in steps you set yourself. The aim isn’t heroism but evidence — the body has to experience that you got through it.
See also
REM sleep
The stage of sleep with vivid dreams, in which the day's emotional impressions are processed.
Rumination
The repeated turning over of the same thoughts, which looks like problem-solving but never reaches a solution.
Systemic therapy
An approach that understands a difficulty within a web of relationships rather than within the individual alone.
