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Guilt

The feeling that you did something wrong — useful when it points you towards repair, harmful when it becomes a permanent state.

Term

How it shows up in daily life

Healthy guilt is short and has an address: you caused someone harm and you put it right. Toxic guilt has no address and doesn’t pass — you feel it because someone isn’t well, even though you weren’t the one who caused it.

What we do with it in therapy

We separate responsibility from omnipotence. Behind stubborn guilt there is often a hidden false sense of control: if it was mine, I could have prevented it. Letting that go is harder than it looks.

Read more

Preberi več na blogu

Healthy guilt and toxic guilt: how to tell them apart 11 min branja Guilt: the feeling that gives us a false sense of control 11 min branja Guilt and shame are not the same — and the difference matters 11 min branja

See also

Reconciliation Restoring a relationship after a rupture — unlike forgiveness, it always requires both people. Eating disorders Difficulties in which food and the body become the main way of regulating emotion and control. Chronic stress A state of permanent readiness in which the body never quite switches the alarm off.

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Does some of this sound familiar?

An explanation is one thing, the experience another. If you'd like to talk it through with someone, write to me.

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