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Ambivalence

Holding contradictory feelings towards the same person or decision at the same time.

Term

How it shows up

You love someone and at the same time wish they would leave. You hate your job and cling to it. Ambivalence isn’t a sign of confusion — it is a sign that the situation really is complicated and that you’re honest enough not to simplify it.

What we do with it in therapy

The mistake is forcing yourself into a single feeling. We work so that both sides get a voice; a decision that comes out of both usually holds, while one made from a single side does not.

See also

High sensitivity A characteristic in which a person processes stimuli from their surroundings more strongly and more deeply. Compromise An agreement in which both give something up — and both get something. Assertiveness A way of expressing yourself that takes account of your needs and the other person's dignity at once.

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