Polyvagal theory
A model describing three states of the nervous system: safe connection, mobilisation and freeze.
What it says
According to this theory the body continuously assesses whether the environment is safe and switches between states accordingly: connection (contact is possible), fight or flight (mobilisation) and shutdown (numbness, freeze). The model is partly contested scientifically, but clinically it has proved a useful map.
What we do with it in therapy
It helps explain why conversation doesn’t take hold in certain states — and why we have to go to the body first and to words only after.
See also
Violence in a relationship
A pattern of behaviour by which one person establishes power and control over another — physically, psychologically, sexually or economically.
Assertiveness
A way of expressing yourself that takes account of your needs and the other person's dignity at once.
Impermanence
The awareness that time is limited — a source of anxiety and, at once, one of the strongest sorters of priorities.
