Tuning your breathing
Partners sit beside each other and breathe together — without talking.
Attuning your breathing is an exercise for couples. You sit or lie next to each other, without talking, and simply breathe for a few minutes — first each in your own rhythm, then one of you matches the other. Halfway through you swap who adjusts. A hand on the back or the chest helps but is not required. It takes five minutes and does not end with a conversation about the relationship; if you want to talk, do it later. For many couples silence is harder at first than arguing — that too is information worth bringing to a session.
When to use it
After an argument, once you have both settled but the distance has remained. Or as a regular practice for couples where there is little touch.
How it goes
- Sit beside each other, or opposite each other with your knees touching.
- One places a palm on their own chest; the other watches their rhythm.
- Gradually bring the rhythms together — without forcing, just moving closer.
- Five minutes, without words. Afterwards each of you may say one sentence.
Why it works
Co-regulation doesn’t run on words. For couples whose conversations always turn, this is one of the few ways contact can be restored without risk.
