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Emotion regulation

The ability to recognise a feeling, bear it and give it shape — without being swept away and without having to switch it off.

Term

How it shows up in daily life

Unregulated anger pours out as an outburst or as weeks of silence. Unregulated sadness turns into numbness. Regulation isn’t calm at any cost — calm produced by suppressing a feeling isn’t regulation but postponement.

What we do with it in therapy

We practise three things: recognising a feeling early enough, staying with it long enough, and expressing it so that the relationship holds. The body is often quicker than words here, so we take it seriously.

Read more

Preberi več na blogu

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See also

Jealousy Fear of losing a relationship, which shows up as control, checking or withdrawal. People-pleasing A pattern in which you systematically put someone else's need before your own to keep the peace. Conflict A collision of two needs — in itself not a sign of a bad relationship, but a sign of two people.

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Contact

Does some of this sound familiar?

An explanation is one thing, the experience another. If you'd like to talk it through with someone, write to me.

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