Rationalisation
A reasonable-sounding explanation for something you did for entirely different reasons.
How it shows up
You stay in a job that is destroying you and give five factual reasons. All of them are true. And yet none is the real reason — that is usually fear of change.
What we do with it in therapy
We don’t dispute the reasons, because as a rule they’re accurate. But I ask: if all of that were sorted out, what would still hold you back? That is where the real conversation begins.
See also
Ending therapy
A planned end to the work, which is part of the process rather than its absence.
Post-traumatic stress disorder
Persistent responses after a traumatic event: re-experiencing, avoidance, hyperarousal and altered mood.
Ambivalence
Holding contradictory feelings towards the same person or decision at the same time.
