Attachment
The pattern by which we move closer and pull away in relationships — learned in childhood, repeated in adulthood.
How it shows up in daily life
At the first sign of tension in a relationship, one person immediately writes, calls and seeks reassurance. Another goes quiet in the same tension, withdraws and says everything is fine. Both are responding to the same fear — that the relationship will fall apart — only with the opposite strategy. That strategy took shape when you were small and working out what worked with the people you depended on.
What we do with it in therapy
We don’t fix the pattern with advice like »don’t be so attached«. First we recognise it — when it fires, what fires it, what you tell yourself then. Once you can see the pattern in the moment it happens, a gap opens between the cue and the response. In that gap a choice appears that wasn’t there before.
