Telling a child about a separation
What you say, how, and what you don't — prepared in advance and agreed between the parents.
What it’s for
A child remembers this conversation. Improvising in a tense moment produces sentences that can’t be taken back later.
How to prepare
- Tell them together, on a calm day, not after an argument.
- Three sentences that must be said: it isn’t your fault, we both love you, we’ll tell you what is going to change.
- Be concrete: where they’ll sleep, when they’ll see each of you, what stays the same.
- No details about the reasons, and no blaming the other parent.
- Say that you’ll talk about it again — one conversation isn’t enough.
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See also
Signs of being overloaded
Your own list of the signs by which you recognise you're going over the edge — before you do.
Time-out card
An agreed signal and rules for a pause, settled by the couple before they need them.
Distress scale
A rating of your state from 0 to 10, with a description of what each level means for you specifically.
