Support through separation: how therapy keeps loss from turning into resentment
What therapy actually does during a separation: room for what went unsaid, separating feelings from decisions, grief without a ritual, and resentment that finds…
ReadSupport through separation
Separation is one of the hardest things a person lives through with their eyes open. Therapy through separation is a space for pain that has nowhere to go, and for agreements that will hold for years.
50 minutes · contribution €25 · in person in Ljubljana
What support through separation is
Separation has no ritual. When someone dies, people call, bring food and know what to say. When a relationship ends, many fall silent, even though the loss is comparable — you lose a partner, part of your identity, shared friends, plans and often your home.
I work with people who chose the separation and with those for whom it was chosen. Even when the decision is right, it hurts. Relief and grief can exist at the same time — that is not a contradiction.
Kadar so v razhod vpeti otroci, ima delo še eno plast. Partnerski odnos se konča, starševski pa ne. Prav ta prehod — od para do sodelujočih staršev — je tisto, kar otroke najbolj zaščiti.
You may recognise yourself
- the separation is recent and you do not know how to get through the next week
- the decision has not been made and the uncertainty is wearing you out
- the anger is such that you worry about what it will do to the children
- you do not know how to tell the children
- as parents you cannot agree on anything
- the separation is behind you, yet you are not moving on
You do not have to match any of these lines. They are simply what people most often come with.
How this looks
Four things a separation demands
Not in order and not once and for all — but none of them can be skipped.
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01
Stabilisation
Najprej spanje, hrana, dan, ki nekako drži. Šele nato vse drugo.
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02
Grief
The loss needs a name and a place, otherwise it turns into resentment.
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03
Agreements
Concretely: where the children are, how you inform each other, what applies over the holidays.
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04
A new role
From a couple to parents who cooperate. And from a partner to a person who moves on.
In practice
How we work
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01
Alone or together
Sessions can be individual or joint. Where conflict is high, we often begin separately.
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02
A child is not a messenger
Wherever possible we make arrangements away from the children. They must never carry messages.
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03
Anger gets a place
With me you can say it to the end. That is precisely why it need not be poured out where it does harm.
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04
Talking to the children
We prepare a concrete script: who says it, when, in which words, what the child absolutely needs to hear.
First step
How to begin
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01
Write me a few lines
Through the form or by email. You do not have to explain everything — what brings you and roughly when a session would suit you is enough.
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02
I reply personally
Within two working days at the latest. Together we find a time for a session at my practice in Ljubljana.
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03
Introductory session
It is for getting to know each other and commits you to nothing. If we decide to continue, we go through and sign an informed consent form together.
Contribution
Support through separation
50 minutes, usually once a week, more often in the acute phase
25 € / session
No hidden costs and no commitment. Payment after each session. Free cancellation up to 24 hours before the appointment.
Why the contribution is lower
I am a trainee enrolled in the specialisation programme in marriage and family therapy. That is exactly why the contribution is lower than usual — and exactly why I review every case regularly with a licensed supervisor.
Straight with you
I provide this service as a trainee under supervision
I am a marriage and family therapist in training and I am enrolled in the specialisation programme. I do not do this work alone: I review every case regularly with a supervisor who is licensed and has many years of practice.
In supervision we discuss the content of sessions without any details by which you could be identified — the supervisor never learns who you are. For you this means that behind me stands not only my own knowledge, but also the experience of someone who follows the work from the outside.
Further reading
Articles on this topic
Longer articles from the blog related to support through separation.
Why we go back to exes, and when going back is a pattern rather than love
On-off relationships are more common than you think. Why we are pulled back, what each round costs, and the concrete criteria that separate a…
ReadCo-parenting after separation: how to stay a team when you are no longer a couple
How to separate the partner role from the parent role, which agreements hold, what parallel parenting is in high conflict, and what never to…
Read
Contact
Take the first step
Write me a few lines about what weighs on you. I am happy to answer questions before you decide.
