Stillbirth: grieving without shared memories
In stillbirth, birth and death happen at the same moment, and there are almost no shared memories. How you grieve for a child only his mother knew, and what it does to…
ReadGrief
Loss has no deadlines and does not move through stages. Posts on grieving someone close, on losses others do not recognise, on the first year, and on staying alongside a grieving person for longer than a week.
The stages of grief are a myth: what really happens after a loss
The five stages were never about bereaved people, and the data do not support them. What we have instead, and why it is kinder to the person living it.
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The first year after a death: what to expect, month by month
What often happens in the first year after a loss and in what order - with no promise of when it should get easier. A map, not a calendar.
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The grief nobody acknowledges: miscarriage, divorce, losing a job
Some losses come with no funeral, no leave and no condolences. Why the silence around them often hurts more than the loss, and what to do with it.
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How to talk to a child about death - by age
Why "gone to sleep" is a dangerous phrase, what a child understands at which age, and how to say that someone has died - clearly and without euphemism.
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What to say to someone grieving, and what not to (and why silence isn't a mistake)
Why kindly meant sentences hurt, what works instead, and why staying quiet beside a grieving person is often better than comfort.
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When grief doesn't pass: what prolonged grief disorder is
Prolonged grief disorder in ICD-11 and DSM-5-TR: what it describes, whom it affects, what helps, and why the months in the criteria are not a deadline.
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Anniversaries, holidays and the empty chair: getting through the dates
Why the weeks before an anniversary are often worse than the day, what to do about his chair at the table, and how to make a plan that holds for this year…
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Grief and the body: why we fall ill more often after a loss
What happens to sleep, the immune response and the heart after a loss, why test results can be fine, and what actually helps in this period.
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Guilt after a loss: "I could have done more"
Why guilt after a death settles exactly where there was the most care, how hindsight builds it, and what to do with it when it does hold up.
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